May 12, 2009OTL – Who’s Got Your Back?
Six Ways a Buddy Can Help You Out
They say you teach what you most need to learn. One of the things that’s slowly sinking into my pores (slowly, slowly) is the need for support, for community, for people to help me do more Great Work.
It’s particularly important if you’ve got the “Be Responsible” chromosome; or perhaps the “I Should Be Able To Do Everything” gene; or even the “Let Me Save The Day” DNA. Whether you work in an organization or work by yourself, it’s a constant temptation to work harder, take on more, say Yes to more, be the lone hero striding forward…
And here’s the rub. It’s the final Great Work Truth – that if you’re doing it alone, you’re not doing Great Work.
- 1. To create new possibilities
Studies show that the most efficient way to generate lots of ideas is to work by yourself. But to generate a broader range of what’s possible, you need help getting out of your own head and beyond your own limitations.
I’m forever looking out for people who will challenge and provoke me, to open up what’s new. My key criteria? Make me think, make me laugh.
(Who makes you laugh? Who makes you think?)
- 2. To help you remember what’s important
One definition of strategy is knowing what you’re saying Yes to…and with that, what you’re saying No to. But in the hurly-burly of our day-to-day working lives, it’s easy to lose track of what the bigger game is.
I spend time setting 90-day goals (you can see how to do that here) and also one year goals. And then, I’ve learned, I have a strong tendency to forget them. That’s one of the reasons I work with my coach, Ernest Oriente. His job is to keep me coming back to my two big goals for the year and not get distracted. (If you want to know what the two goals are, it’s the success of Find Your Great Work and Coaching For Great Work.)
(Who helps you stay clear on what really matters?)
For your heart
- 3. To celebrate
Underneath my laid-back, nice-guy personality, beats the heart of someone who’s driven, obsessed, ambitious…. It’s not a bad thing, (per se) and I continue to work to balance the focus that energy can give me against the joylessness these can sometimes generate. And this is where Marcella, my wife and business partner steps in. One of her key roles is to slap me round the head and say “Stop! Celebrate! Things are working!” And thank goodness. The joy is in the moment, to celebrate what’s already working (It’s the first question in 5.75 Questions You’ve Been Avoiding)
(With whom do you celebrate?)
- 4. To be a mess
Nobody likes to be incompetent, afraid, uncertain and unsure. And we all step into that place every now and then.
For most of us, we just keep that all hidden, shameful in the dark of the night. But if you can find a safe space to be a mess, it removes the embarrassment and confusion. That’s one of the roles of my “Brain Trust” – Molly Gordon, Jen Louden, Mark Silver and Eric Klein. They’re all great people, smart entrepreneurs and they help me with strategies and tactics for my business. But above all, they give me a place where I can be (safely and supported) useless, confused and despairing.
(Who provides that safe space for you?)
For your hands
- 5. To do what you can’t do
The list of things I can’t do is long. Very long. Very, very long. And so when the need arises, I have a choice. Either I start to teach myself and, eventually, haul myself up to a barely adequate level. Or I find someone brilliant and ask them to do it for me. What have you being trying to master and never quite got to grips with?
(Who’s got technical skills to help you out?)
- 6. To do what you can do
Closely aligned with the concept of Great Work is that of Genius Work – the work that only you can do, the work that only you can do brilliantly. If there’s one thing I’ve learned from the Great Work Interviews and in talking to people such as David Allen, Gay Hendricks and Bill Jensen is that they focus on what they’re best at – and get others to do the work that isn’t their Great Work.
Part of the joy of launching the Coaching for Great Work Program has been inviting 16 other fantastic coach-trainers to share the responsibility of training this program with clients. I’m a pretty good coach-trainer. But so are others. And it’s not my genius work, which lies in creating books and movies and courses and the like.
It’s been hard work to give that up, to give up what I can do well (and comfortably) to focus on something that’s harder for me (and my Great Work). And it’s been the right thing to do.
First, you need different people to play these roles.
Second, know that you play these roles for others. Whose circle are you part of, what roles do you play?
Third, what did you think of this article? I’m a little concerned it’s too self-reflective (”it’s all about me, me, me.”) Let me know what you think on the blog in the Comments section.
And finally, I’d love you to get the support you need to do Great Work. There are a couple of opportunities below the quotes to invite someone in to have some fun which I hope you’ll check out.
- Althea Gibson, American tennis pioneer
“In the long history of humankind (and animal kind, too) those who learned to collaborate and improvise most effectively have prevailed.”
- Charles Darwin, British naturalist
- Ralph Waldo Emerson, American philosopher
“Two heads are better than one.”
- Proverb
“Teamwork is the quintessential contradiction of a society grounded in individual achievement.”
- Marvin Weisbord, American business author
“Help! I need somebody. Help! Not just anybody….”
- The Beatles, British musical legends (watch them here)
Find Your Great Work buddy special
If you’re hungry to do less of the busywork and more of the work that matters…
If you’re looking to focus on work that’s more meaningful and more impactful…
If you’re curious about a book that’s been endorsed by 9 Past Presidents of the ICF, smart folks like Chris Guillebeau, David Allen and Leo Babauta.
AND if you’re looking for a buddy to help you with your Great Work…
Then we’re offering a FYGW buddy special until Tuesday, May 19th.
Buy a copy of the book for $14.95 and pick up a second one for just $5.
Find Your Great Work workshop buddy special
Our first North American Find Your Great Work workshop is in Seattle on Sunday June 14th.
The first FYGW workshop in London was a great success, and this will be an equally fun, provocative and productive. You’ll meet great people, get new insights as to what your Great Work is, and leave with a plan to do something differently.
I know that it’s easier to keep your commitments to do more Great Work when you’ve got a partner in the program, so we’re offering a buddy special for the workshop too.
)and I will definitely keep looking for my great work!
Caroline » 14 May 2009, 1:11 am